Core Wound: Abandonment


When you have an abandonment core wound, there’s a deep fear of loss that will underlay anything that requires a commitment from you. Abandonment is the fear that you’ll lose whatever or whoever you commit to, so rather than committing, you’ll have think, “why bother?” You’ll basically stop before you even start.

You’ll find it especially difficult to commit to a relationship, a long term job or business, or even making decisions that would improve your own health. And as you may already realize, a lack of commitment always results in a lack of joy, money, love, opportunities… you name it. All of these require commitment in order to sustain and grow them into healthy long term foundations in your life.

When you fear loss, the imbalance is with your root chakra. Root chakra is the first chakra and the one responsible for your foundations, including your blood and your bones. It governs the safety and security you feel, including how grounded you are on Earth. The less grounded you are, the more imbalanced the root chakra tends to become which makes it nearly impossible to move forward with goals. You need the energy of the Earth to support your initiatives.

Someone with an abandonment core wound tends to burn a lot of bridges. If someone asks you to commit, it threatens your core value which is Freedom. You interpret commitment as a request to strip you of your rights, rather than an invitation to open your heart fully. Opening your heart fully would require vulnerability and if you have an abandonment core wound, you’ve been abandoned when you needed someone most and you fear experiencing this again. So… rather than subject yourself to it, you commit as far as you’re comfortable, then you move on.

If you have an abandonment core wound, you’ll resonate with most, if not all of the statements below.

Abandonment Core Wound          

1.     I have a fear of Losing (Someone, Something)                    

2.     I have a fear of losing myself                                                

3.     I tend to attach to people in unhealthy ways (one or more of my parents was ‘unavailable’ when I needed them)

4.     I have co-dependent tendencies                                           

5.     I fear intimacy and opening my heart fully to someone      

To resolve an abandonment core wound, it’s important to take stock of where you feel “off track” in your life and begin to identify patterns of self-sabotage (like going out instead of doing your work with a deadline looming) and begin to understand what you’re CHOOSING to do instead of committing. The power with this wound is in your power of conscious choice. You don’t need to commit to everything, but you do need to understand what and who you truly want to commit to and begin to unravel the pattern by making different choices.

As with all wounds, it’s important to treat them, either with a healer or counselor that you trust or by working towards a different outcome on your own. I’m always happy to help, feel free to send me an email if you’d like to work together.

Based on these 5 statements, do you have an abandonment core wound? Comment below and let me know. I always value and appreciate reading your comments!

And if you’d like to take my free Soul Tribes Quiz to identify the soul tribe you belong to, here’s a link.

All my Love,