**I’m writing this post on July 16, 2019, the day of Full Moon and partial lunar eclipse - But please know that the information I include here is helpful any time you’re feeling confused about what you want.**
If you’ve been feeling torn in two by the energies lately, you’re not alone. This has been a time of extreme confusion, self-doubt, procrastination and regret. We currently have six planets in retrograde, including Mercury, our planet of communication. We’re being asked to dive deep into our own thoughts, feelings and patterns in order to resolve and heal them. This energy is bringing childhood wounds and issues from the past back to the forefront because it simply can’t be suppressed any longer. Any energy of victimization, self-hatred or blame of yourself or others will be especially present in your day to day interactions and especially in relationships.
I found myself feeling pulled into the fray on many occasions the past few months and 2019 has been a rollercoaster, to say the least.
Something that helped me to process this persistent feeling of “I don’t know what I want” is a series of journaling prompts that came to me in meditation. Go through the prompts one question at a time without reading the entire post in advance. Don’t skip ahead because your mind may want to contrive an answer in advance.
Get your journal ready!
If I could purchase anything (physical or non physical) in the world, with any amount of money, what would I purchase? A non-physical example is “world peace” and a physical example is “a new home”.
Close your eyes and imagine you are staring out the window of your home at the expanse of what you’ve created. What do you see?
Now, zoom in — what else do you see?
If I didn’t need to spend time making money, working or taking care of others, I would… (explore three different options, no more and no less).
For a moment, think about the 3 options you just wrote down. What are all the reasons that creating this is NOT a possibility? Include physical reasons and non-physical (like beliefs).
Write down the people, resources, ideas and opportunities that are available to you right now if you show up and start creating the 3 options you listed in one small way every day.
Where will you begin?
If you feel any conflict about taking action on your passions from #3 because you need to support yourself, you can use this opportunity to declare everything you’ve written out loud while slowly working towards them little by little, day by day. Continue doing what you’re doing until more opportunities present themselves, which will be inevitable if you take consistent action.
Which core feelings are most important to me? For example, “Valued, happy, creative”.If you have trouble identifying how you feel, use this chart to help you.
In which areas of my life are these feelings present?
You may find that the feelings you desire the most are not currently present in your life or in yourself.
Simply ask yourself, Are they present within me? If not, what needs to change and how will I change it? For example, “to feel creative, I will write or create art every day.” Do this exercise for every feeling you listed until you’ve brainstormed all possible options. And remember — these feelings come from WITHIN so while external stimuli may help temporarily, it will be fleeting. Focus on nourishing yourself and you’ll see lasting change.
What do I need in order to succeed?
One final note, my friend. I want you to remember this important phrase as you move forward with your new or not-so-new information:
“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” - Confucious
It’s a simple reminder that the state you seek can only found within. It doesn’t change with a new home, new job, more money, improved health or a better relationship. Focus on your internal wellbeing, nourishing yourself and staying true to your own commitments to live a happy life and you will always find what you’re seeking within.
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